A bad experience with Hennessey - "Laugh"

The Hennessey Incident

It was almost 8pm and I was standing in the middle of the living room trying to figure out where to put this last Frosted Cookie Glade Plug In.  It was the final little touch to create the ambiance for this evening’s romantic rendezvous. “Ah… this should do it!”  I found a lonely outlet between the front door and the hideous looking console entry table that my mother had given me a while back. 

I closed my eyes and surrendered to the sweet smell, as my mind flashed back to when I was a little girl. I used to dance around like a ballerina in front of the oven until my grandmother’s famous sugar cookies had finished baking. My mouth started to water.  

The front door opened in slow motion as Dante glided through as if he was floating a few feet above the ground. I leaned in to kiss him only to feel the palm of his hand mush me in the face.  His nose pointed up as if he had been taken hostage by the alluring smell and headed straight towards to kitchen. He scanned the counter and table searching for his captor. He fixed in on the oven. He slowly, crept up to it and then looked back at me squinted his eyes and nodding his head as if he was about to claim his victory. He placed his hand softly on the handle and noticed it was cold to the touch. In disbelief, he opened it and turned back to me with his eye now glaring with anger.

“Where the goods at?”
 

Shaking my head slowly “Babe…that’s a plug in you’re smelling. It’s frosted cook… wait… are you hungry or something? If you were expecting me to...”
 

“DAMMIT WOMAN! “ Dante yelled while slamming the oven door shut. “How you gonna have your place smelling like an Entenmann’s bakery and you ain’t got anything baked or baking?”

With my mouth hung open and trying to think of some sort of rebuttal that was going to turn this moment around in my favor I managed to only come up with “Well….. I…uh… humph…lets see..well actually….uh…. WAIT! Don’t LEAVE!” I reach out to try and grab the back of Dante’s coat as he swiftly walked out the front door.

I shook off the horrible visual, reached down and pulled out the plug in and decided to burn some Nag Champa incents instead.  I gave the living room/love nest a final once over.  The fire logs were burning hot with big colorful flames, thanks to those special fire logs I put in.  The track lights were set just low enough to bring the deep earth tone colors of the furniture and accents in the room to life. About three feet away from the fireplace, I laid out a winter white sheepskin rug.  Everything looks good.  

I checked the time. 7:56pm. I ran down the hall into my bedroom to put the finishing touches on myself.  I stood in front of full length mirror and tugged a bit at the black lace with a bare back mini dress. I turned to the side to make sure my stomach was still flat. All I had eaten today were three grapes.  I smacked the side of my face to distract the feeling of hunger and light headedness. It seemed like a fitting resolution to do to prevent from passing out from starvation.  It was also my resolution whenever I wore Spanks and couldn’t breathe or high heeled shoes that only had a 7 minute walking/standing time and I was over my limit by 10 minutes. I faced forward again.  The only thing I had on underneath was a Vicky Secret black thong. I leaned in closer to the mirror and looked with admiration as my nipples were erect just enough to give that extra, little something, something to add to my sex appeal.  I re-touched my lip gloss and dabbed a bit of fresh vanilla oil behind my ears, chest and between my thighs.

Knock knock knock. 

I checked the time.  8 o'clock. Dante was never late. As I walked towards the door, I noticed another plug in and quickly pulled it out. Looking around nervously in the forayer I decided to toss it in the back of the coat closet. I closed the door and smelled my hands… “Damn this stuff is strong.”
 

Knock knock knock

Dante looked gorgeous with his black wool and leather pea coat and flat cap. He stood about 6’3, very nicely built, smooth milk chocolate complexion, chinky eyes, a clean, shaved head that was of normal size and a killer smile with one dimple on the right that made him especially dangerous. I am talking about the kind of dangerous that would have any woman surrender to him the passwords, combination and pin numbers to everything. Thank God he wasn't the gigolo type or I would be in trouble.

“I must have died and went to heaven because I am looking at the most sexiest woman ever.”

I felt my cheeks get hot as I watched his eyes slowly undress me. He always knew exactly what to say. 

“Hey Babe." I said as my eyes were now undressing him. 

"Come here so I can give you some sweetness”.  He backed me up against the wall as the door shut behind him. He grabbed both of my wrists, pinned my hands above my head, leaned in and kissed me passionately. I immediately squeezed my legs tightly together to prevent the flood from running down.

“mmmm… you smell so sweet. Got me ready to eat you up girl.”
 

I pushed off the wall and yanked his coat from over his shoulders. “We can either just go at it right here and now or you can allow me to cater to you for a little bit first."

Dante made silly faces and sounds as he weighed out the options in his head. He always knew how to make me laugh and smile. “Well, I do like the sound of being catered too but this dress and that perfume…what is that?" he leaned in again and started kissing and licking on my neck.  "It smells like....." he was now lightly biting and kissing my shoulders "some kind of..." he was working his way down kissing and smelling my arm until he brought my hands to his nose and smelled them. "Cookie dough or something like that." he buried his nose into my hands and wrists. "Woman.. you baked?”

 

I felt a surge of panic as my mind flashed back to the vision I had earlier. “Uh…hey…let me take your coat and show you just how much I love my King and need to be ruled by him.” I hung up his coat and guided him into the living room towards the couch.   

“Please sit.” I kneeled by his feet and untied his Timbs and pulled each one off.  I smiled as I started blinking a few more times than normal as not wanting to give away that I suddenly smelled a combination of Frito Lays and a funky gym locker.  How can a man be this fine and have smelly ass feet?  I could tell he didn't notice me dry heave a bit as I watched him gaze down at me with those sexy eyes of his.  I placed the toxic boots next to the incent I was burning.  I pulled three more Nag Champa’s out the box, lit them and sat them in the holder next to his boots. 

“So…you gonna dance for me or something?” Dante couldn't handle the suspense any further. Without saying a word, I locked eyes with his as I got on all fours and crawled towards him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the floor and onto the sheepskin rug. “oooh.. yeah.. this is soft…mmmm mmm..mmm mess around and we gonna end up making something on this rug right here.”  

I had known Dante for almost ten years and the top three things that man loved more than me was his Mama, his Range Rover and a bottle of Hennessey XO. I handed him the snifter that had the most Hennessey in it.  Dante raised his glass and toasted “To the most beautiful woman and luckiest man sitting right here at this very moment. May we die in this moment.”  I frowned as I pulled my glass away before he tapped it with his.  “Die? Fuck we gotta die for? Can I live at least?... you wanna die, go ahead but not in here though.  I don’t have insurance.” 

Dante laughed and caressed my face. I then felt something hot and moist tucking itself underneath my thigh.  It was his foot.  I cringed a bit and slowly lifted my leg up without tipping over or spilling my drink. Didn’t he know it was already difficult enough trying to look sexy in this miniature and slightly itchy dress? And the last thing I needed was the back of my legs smelling like corn chips.  I started getting lightheaded as I realized the corn chip smell was getting much stronger as the heat from the fireplace was now slow roasting his feet. I should have kept all the plug-ins in. 

“Hello?... you heard me?”

 

“Oh, sorry babe.  I was lost in the moment for a second…Did you toast?” “Yes babygirl.  I said, let’s always live in the moment.” I smiled as we touched glasses. I took a sip and he downed his as if it was a shot.  He then looked at my glass and I quickly chugged my back. As he reached for the bottle to pour another round for the both of us, I was fanning my eyes to prevent the tears from rolling down my cheeks as the burning sensation intensified from the fire water that I just consumed on an empty stomach.   

“You’re not getting choked up over my toast are you?” Dante gazed deep into my eyes while holding my face.   

I felt his foot dig in deeper underneath my ass. “AAHHH!” I quickly lifted onto my knees and checked to see what just cut me on my ass. “Oh damn! My bad, girl.  I need to clip these.  You ok?” Feeling for blood and relieved that he didn’t cut me deep I said in my best little girl voice “yeah, I’m good, but I know if you kiss it, it would make it ALL better!” 

Dante pulled me in close as he started kissing me from where he almost sliced me open and started to work his way up.  I placed my hand on top of his head trying to guide him back down but to where it really mattered. He ended up overpowering me and pulled my dress down from the top to expose my breasts.  I loved it when he took control. I quickly surrendered and allowed my mind and body to be taken over by this man. 

Just when I was about to slip into ecstasy, I felt something being poured over my left breast and then feeling Dante’s mouth and tongue licking and sucking as if he had reverted back to being a few weeks old and devouring his mothers nipples.  I looked down at him and noticed he even had the same look in his eye as a baby did.  In my peripheral I saw Dante pick the bottle of XO up and while sucking on my left nipple, he poured a little henney on the right one and then swiftly slurped and sucked on the right one without spilling a drop.  Now that was impressive! As I looked on in amazement, he did the same trick again and he was right back on the left. 

There was a tingling sensation now happening to my right nipple.  Maybe it was the air hitting it causing that cool burning sensation.  It was similar to the feeling you felt after rubbing Vicks Vapor rub on your chest.  The sensation faded away as Dante was back to work on it. 

I started to lean back so that I could start having my way with him when all of the sudden I felt a burning sensation on my left nipple. I started to blow on it which only aided for a few seconds of relief. Dante de-latched himself from the right and said “mmm… I got something for you to blow on baby” and started to unbutton his pants. 

I bit down on my bottom lip as I rubbed my hands on his chiseled abs working my way down. I had not noticed that I was still blowing on my own nipples as the burning sensation was increasing rapidly. 

I tried my best to maintain my sexiness but now I was going from burning to OH SHIT! MY NIPPLES ARE ON FIRE! mode. “What’s the matter baby?” I found myself fanning at my nipples and blowing hard on them like some 40 something year old trying to blow out 40 something birthday candles.  

“Yo.. my nipples are on fire right now.”  Dante leaned in to grab one. “oh yeah!  They are hot fire girl…”
 

“No nigga!” I snapped as I slapped his hand away.  “My shit is hot. Like they are burning and the pain is now unbearable.”
 

I jumped up and ran into the bathroom to take a closer look and I needed bright light. As soon as I switched the light on I screamed in horror as I notice that my left nipple was swollen and discolored.  The areola looked as if it was melting off of my breasts.  I then looked at the right and that one looked almost purple. I leaned in closer as my mouth dropped when I noticed it looked as if there was another nipple growing out of my right nipple.  “What the fuck?!”  Little beads of sweat was starting to form on my forehead and above my lip.  I turned on the cold water and started splashing my nipples.  

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

I looked in the mirror and all I could see was flames shooting out of my nipples and melting everything in the bathroom. This was not how I wanted to die. I dropped to the floor and started rolling.   

Dante grabbed my shoulders and started to shake me a bit. “Babe… Baby!!!  What the hell are you doing?  What’s wrong? Why are you on the floor rolling like that?” 

I looked down at my breasts and then around the bathroom.  Ok… the fire was just my imagination. I squeezed my eyes shut because I realized that although the flames were not real, the pain sure in hell was.  “I am in serious pain over here.  Look!” I gestured towards my nipples that now looked totally deformed. Dante’s eyes grew wide as his mouth dropped.   

“Oh shit. Yo! Are you allergic to Hennessey?” He quickly got up and ran into the living room.

Are you allergic to Hennessey? I was baffled that this man would even ask me something like that.  I don’t have this issue when I DRINK Hennessey.  Who asks questions like that?  Another searing pain radiated through both breasts now.  “AAAAAAAAHHHHHH OH MY GOD… JUST TAKE ME NOW LORD… PLEASE….BUT FIX MY NIPPLES FIRST.  I CAN'T MEET TUPAC UP THERE WITH MY NIPPLES LOOKING LIKE THIS!…PLEEAASEEEEE LORD.”

 

Dante returned back to the bathroom holding the bottle of Hennessey XO. I scurried into the corner shielding myself like a battered woman whose attacker had returned to finish her off. 

“I don’t see anything on the label. I don’t even see a warning label.” Dante said while inspecting the bottle closely and flipping it over a few times too many.  

Through my teeth I said “what exactly are you looking for on that bottle?” Dante put the bottle down and help me up off the floor.  “To see if it said anything about don’t put this on your body or if when to call the doctor.”
 

I had to look into his eyes at this point.  I wanted to see if he was just fucking with me or if he was actually this stupid.  I closed my eyes to keep from crying as I realized after ten years… he was actually this fuckin stupid.  

My nipples now felt like they were splitting open and I was bleeding to death.  I looked down at them again, bracing myself against the wall.  I couldn’t even recognize them.  I stared at myself in the mirror.  The beautiful, sexy woman that I was looking at early with the perfectly erect nipples was now gone.  All I saw looking back at me was some stranger whose dress was around her waist, her eyes puffy and red with deformed nipples.  My left areola was actually starting to look like the state of Texas.  The right one looked more like a plum with a little plum morphing on top of it.  

“Babe, what do you want me to do?  You want me to take you to the emergency room?”  My eyes glared at him as I pictured me bashing his head in with that bottle he was now taking to the head.  “Eeehh.. no! And just what are you going to say?  Huh?  What are you going to tell them?  I was trying to drink some Henney from her tities and she had an allergic reaction.  We should have stuck with the rum instead. I mean really Dante!” 

My knees almost buckled as the next wave of pain shot through.  Dante left out of the bathroom and about two minutes later, he came back with one pack of frozen blueberries and one pack of frozen strawberries that I kept in the freezer to make my morning power juices. “Here, try to put these on there.” He placed them as gently as possible and after a few seconds, the pain subsided. “I think it's numbing it. Good idea babe. Sorry I yelled at you. It’s just that....” Dante interrupted… “shhh… let me just get you in the bed.”

I think I had passed out as soon as Dante laid me on the bed.  When I did moan in pain, Dante would get up and get something else from the freezer to place on my nipples just to get me to go back to sleep.  He nursed me the entire night.

The sun peeked through my window shades waking me up. Dante was knocked out on the lounge chair in the corner of my room holding a melted bag of peas.  I wondered if last night was all just one big nightmare until I looked down at my breasts.  I noticed the tiny little scabs around my nipples where my skin must have split open a bit but the shapes and colors remained. Even the miniature third nipple growing out of the right had gotten bigger and now shined bright with it's purple and bright pink undertone. The pain was gone at least.   

I got out of the bed and touched Dante’s face.  “Babe, you’re gonna be late for work… or you’re probably already late. Want me to make you some coffee and toast for you to take with you?” 

 He was rubbing his eyes and trying to focus in one me. He greeted me with his beautiful smile and scanned down to my breast. He rubbed his eyes again as if that was going to change how they looked and started shaking his head in pity. 

“Nah, I'm good… you ok?”  “The pain is gone so that is a good thing.” Dante lifted himself out of the chair, stretched and went to hug me.  I hunched over to protect what little comfort I had left on my breasts “uh.. no.. no.. no.. babe…..don’t touch. Sorry. Let’s just dap it up.” I put my hand out.  Dante smiled and decided to grab my hand and kiss it.  “I gotta go but I will call you later to check up on you.”

 

“Ok, I need to take a shower anyway.  I am all sticky from the liquid acid you poured on me.”  

I ran the shower and stared at my nipples in the mirror until the steam prevented me from staring any further. 

“Babe… Babe!” I heard Dante yelling from the front of the house.  

“Yeah?”

 

The bathroom door swung open.  “What the hell is in your closet? My coat smells like I work at an Entenmann’s bakery!” 

I moved back a bit and felt a wave of nausea sweep over me as the potent frosted cookie scent rushed through my nose. I couldn't even imagine the potency when that thing is actually plugged in.  

“Damn, babe… not sure but uh..you'll be alright Dunkin. I mean, you not allergic right?"  Dante glared angrily at me for a few seconds then turned around and walked out without saying a word. 

“This fool worried about smelling like cookies, meanwhile I got ameba’s for nipples.” 
 

I stepped into the shower, closed my eyes and moved forward to allow the water to purify me and take away the humiliating and horrific events of last night. My eyes popped open as I screamed to the very top of my lungs as the water felt like little razor blades slicing over my nipples. 

Fire shot out my breasts and my bathroom went ablaze.

Dante was sitting in his Range Rover with the heat on blasts and all the windows rolled down.  The smell of cookies was starting to make him nauseous.  He pulled out of the driveway and drove to the end of the block at the stop light.  He heard a woman’s scream. He looked around and noticed a few kids with their parents standing at the corner and then he saw the driver in the car behind him. They were all looking in the same direction towards Sandy’s house where it had been assumed the scream came from.  

He contemplated about turning back around for a second until he heard a little boy turn to his mom as they were crossing the street. "Someone is baking cookies mommy! Mmmm it smells delicious!" 

Dante shook his head and laughed, then stepped on the gas and headed home.

 Lesson: Hennessey is only for consumption only.